Pictures

I love pictures.

Every picture captures a moment, a moment in time...

I have many pictures of my many phases of life. It's amazing how looking at a picture can take you back to that time and place, the memories, the feelings, the joy or sorrow.

I'm just not able to throw those memories away.

Weather happy or painful they are still a part of my past.

I think it's good to reflect some times on the past, I think the easier thing to do is bury it, bury the hurts, the gut wrenching sorrow, and the pain that seems to be an enigma in this life.

I think a time of reflection is really good, because for one we are forced to "dig up" and face those emotions.

Once we face them, only then (I believe) can we truly let go. When I say let go, I don't mean necessarily forget the past, but we can let go of the holds that the past can have.

Sometimes I hate my past, but then I remember my past is what has brought me to today...

Deborah

I've been thinking a lot how people think so differently from one another and we also seem to gravitate to those who think the same we do.

I witnessed a situation recently that showed me why.

I saw two people who had been in the exact same situation, yet each person had a totally different perspective of what had actually happened.

I mean night and day difference of what each person was saying.

Then I realized something, to each person his or her view is right and totally real to them.

The same way I can't be moved off of what I believe, either can others, I think the error comes in when we try and change people. We (each of us) is who we are period.

The same way it started with the fallen angels, the evil and pride was within them it's just who they are and we see the saturation of that evil on this earth.

I think that's why truly only the Lord can change us, then nobody can say " I saved that person."

Deborah

Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves. Anonymous

Thank you Lord for re-newing my strength !

I feel as though a door has been shut in my life and the Lord is getting ready to open a new one.
It's as if a new "chapter" is about to begin.

Through the Lord changing me I'm becoming the person He wants me to be, but what I've discovered is that it's also the person I've wanted to be.

I used to try and change myself but that never worked because I tried changing outward things.

Change has to come from within, (the Lord changing us) or it's not really change.

How easy it is to fool ourselves into thinking that we've really changed though. Until the Lord brings another situation into our lives and "smacks us in the face" with reality, then we realize we never really did change anything at all.

Deborah

Tying up lose ends

This last month or so has been focused on tying up lose ends.

There where some specific things that I had to do, things I put off, some for several yrs.

Baggage, baggage, baggage

This has been a tough one, more for the fact of thinking I had already dealt with things in my life, but the Lord has shown me there was still some residue that remained.

He just seems to have a way of bringing the crap to the surface.

I sometimes think of my relationship with the Lord similar to that of a husband and wife.

In the beginning of a marriage it's exciting, new, love oozes out of every pore.
Like that of a new believer.

It doesn't take long though before clashing starts, there are SO many things that have to be worked out together.
I see this as the Lord starting to change us from within.

Once you're past that though (it can take a long time, it took my husband and I 5 yrs.) there's a building stage, literally building (starting with the foundation) your relationship as one together.
I think this shows once the Lord has removed the crap and everything that was hindering us before, now the "ground is fertile" to be planted with Himself.

Sure there will be more trials, hardships, and pain but now you're a unit together, strong, united, purely one. I don't how to explain purely one, except that it's knowing truly perfect love in its purist form.

I think once love gets to that "stage" (if you will)nothing can hinder or come against it, nothing of this world.

I think this shows our growth with the Lord personally, but also corporately as a church.

Deborah

Sometimes the road of life is uphill...









Once in awhile along the way you come across an oasis.

Thank you Lord for the oasis !
Deborah

Look what I woke up to today...



And this...



Two sets of baby hamsters born on the same day, one had four and the other Mama had 8. Needless to say the kids are absolutely thrilled, I guess you can't get any better then that for Science :)

Deborah

A lot of people say God wants them to do this or that, but what if God tell you to step off !?

I think we can feel how the Lord does towards people, that's why we have compassion or sympathy.

I've had a recent situation like this where I really wanted to help someone, I felt really bad for this person, but I was told (by the Lord) to "step off."

Through my own situation I realized that God doesn't need me to step in, actually if I do I could do more harm then good.

I know a lot of people don't agree with me on this, a lot think that God needs them to "save" this person or that.

I don't know, I guess I've always thought that was God's place to save someone not mine...

Deborah

Elizabethtown

It takes time to extract joy from life.
From the movie Elizabethtown

What a true statement, I think we have to learn to appreciate life to be able to extract joy from it.

I just recently (finally) watched Elizabethtown, being that's where I live it was funny to see parts of our city in the movie. The last hour of the movie is my favorite part of the movie.

Have you seen Elizabethtown, if so what did you think of the movie ?

Sadness is easiest because its surrender.
Another Elizabethtown movie quote

Deborah

Perception is everything

I think once we let go of our blame list we must look at our perception of things.

I think our perceptions define who we are (not our past, because not everybody holds onto their past, only if we don't give it over to God does it define who we are) because how we perceive things determines how we will react and respond.

Once we have a perception of something it very easy to find or look for the evidence to support our beliefs.

So what do I do, I don't have a perception of things, I stay neutral.

I used to have a lot of perceptions and views of things, but the Lord has shown me how even that is a judgement.

I don't think we can say that we trust in God, then turn around and try to control our (or others) situations.

I think total trust in God has to be total trust in God...

I don't think there's a grey area with God, the only grey area is in our perceptions and views.

Deborah

Hidden Future

Have you ever known the depths of nothingness ?

I find myself in a canyon that I can't seem to find my way out of.

Nothingness of self, nothingness of God, just absolute abandonment.

Even hope eludes me.

I feel as though I go day to day hoping for a (spiritual) dawn, but it remains dark...

Deborah

Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.
Anonymous

Vacation

We got back from vacation (for a wk.) in New Jersey yesterday.

We flew there with the kids, it was really nice. We floated around in my Father-In-Laws pool and he cooked every meal for all 5 of us.

I am SO glad to be back though, like every family seems to have it's issues, it was no exception while we were there.
I won't be going back for a LONG time !

I also realized how glad I am that I do not live in a big city, I could never live in a place like New Jersey, I'd hate it.
I love my slow paced life, nice friendly people, lower cost of living, and not having to drive forever everywhere.
I'm just so glad to be home !


I've also been DE-cluttering and throwing so much stuff away. I'm a very organized person, but those places where everything gets thrown eventually need organized so I've been busy with that.
I'm also getting rid of toys, toys, and more toys !

I've also been busy getting my curriculum's ready for school for my kids (I home school.)

I'm so ready for Fall, I'm ready to put away all the Summer stuff, clear off the patio and "nestle" in for the winter.
I have some books I plan on reading and TV shows that I can't wait to come back on again.

Plus, I just love staying in. Summertime just seems so involved with so much going on.

Deborah

Happy (national) Sister's Day to all my wonderful Sisters :)
Deborah

I am so tired.

Tired of absolutely everything !

Do you ever feel like the sun has went down and just never came back up ?

I just feel spent...

Deborah